Red Flags
Battering "Red Flags"
The majority of victims of domestic violence are women, although some are men. The behaviors below are generally associated with male batterers.
Although men who batter come from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds, there can be some general tendencies that may show up in the dating phase that should be considered "Red Flags," warning women of possible abuse problems.
Behavior "Red Flags"
- Extreme Jealousy A man who batters may equate jealousy with love and believe jealousy is natural in men. He may be overly suspicious of his partner's normal daily activities, i.e., he needs to know where she is at all times, he is extremely jealous of all her friendships with women as well as men.
- A Rigid Belief System About Women And Male/Female Roles A batterer often makes global statements about women, i.e., all women are emotional, all women spend too much money, etc. If his family of origin was violent, he is apt to think of women-beating as normal. He may believe that women are second-class citizens. In addition, there is frequent evidence of similar bias toward race and sexual orientation.
- Poor Impulse Control A batterer may exhibit patterns of chronic or sporadic alcohol or drug abuse, over spending or gambling, impulsive driving, early temper outbursts, inability to handle minor frustrations, destructive anger and/or police record.
- Poor Relationships With Men A batterer is isolated and his contact with other men is usually limited to superficial or non-intimate activity or conversation. Pressure is put on his partner to fulfill all of his emotional needs.
- Unwillingness To Take Responsibility For His Own Behavior A batterer has marked difficulty apologizing when he has behaved inappropriately or failed to follow through on a plan or promise, i.e., not showing up, failing to call when he says he will, being late. In fact, he will tend to blame external events and/or his partner for his own actions and feelings.
- Cruelty To Animals A man's ability to inflict suffering on a living thing may signal a potential abuser.
- Abuse During Courtship Battering almost always becomes more severe and more frequent with time.
by Susan Dauria, MSW, CAC, DAP Coordinator
(W.C. Domestic Abuse Program)
